Jacelyn Tay Shares Chat With Her 10-Year-Old Son About Sex & Abstinence On IG
So when exactly is the right time to talk about the birds and the bees with your kids, and how should you bring up the topic of sexual education?
For former Mediacorp actress Jacelyn Tay, 46, that was the question she faced on the second day of 2022.
According to Jacelyn's Instagram post on Jan 3, her 10-year-old son, Zavier Wong, brought up the topic of sex the night before, asking her if it felt good.
Jacelyn recounted how she answered her son, revealing that while she did not skirt around the issue when answering his question, she made sure to share with him her beliefs on casual sex too, which she compared to “satisfying the body wrongly with drugs”.
"Casual sex might even destroy your health 'cos people who anyhow have sex with anyone are highly likely to get sexually transmitted viruses and diseases (sic). Not only your physical body is contaminated, your soul & your spirit will contaminate too (sic),” wrote Jacelyn.
Jacelyn also added that she told her son not to “kiss or touch a girl” if he’s not married to her as it could “lead to sex”.
Respect is important
"Do not believe when other boys say you are not macho if you never had sex before. Don’t join in those dirty talks [about] women’s body too. That is disrespect & dishonour (sic). But you must be aware that by looking at sexy ladies your penis might “stand”,” she wrote.
Zavier then asked what should he do if he felt like having sex, to which Jacelyn asked him to “just control” his urges.
She went on to share her thoughts on her response at that time, writing: "In my heart I [thought] he could probably masturbate? But it sounded so wrong too. Yet I dunno is there any other solution (sic). Oh man it is not easy parenting at all!”
Jacelyn also revealed that her beliefs are influenced by her religion.
"Last night, God gave me a revelation in my sleep. “A pure soul should not be aroused.” Wow! God is saying when one’s mind is pure and healthy, we should not have sexual cravings except for our beloved married partner.” she wrote.
"In this time and age, I find it challenging in bringing up a wholesome good boy. What is right in the eyes of God?” she added, finishing off her post by adding that she’s not an expert on these topics.
Let's talk about...
Jacelyn's followers were largely supportive of her stance in the comments section.
"I think [your] first explanation has captured essentially what is necessary to convey to a kid including the consequences, in a no frills, no gimmick style,” one wrote.
"I won't be able to talk so sensibly to my approaching 15 yrs old son with this (sic). Thanks for sharing and I can roughly pick some ideas from here if the next time we are open to this topic.,” another added.
Another netizen, however, wondered if Zavier’s friends might see what Jacelyn had shared on her IG, and question him about it.
This was Jacelyn’s reply: "I teach my son to be open and “scientific” [about] this topic. He can use this opportunity to teach his friends the correct understanding of sex… hopefully .”
Other netizens were not so pleased at how Jacelyn advocated for abstinence when teaching her son about sex.
An important discussion to have
"Wow ok so we’re gonna teach abstinence instead of what to do when something goes wrong and you ended up not having safe sex? We’re not gonna teach about condoms, birth control and other prevention methods?” one netizen questioned.
The same netizen also went on to write that "sex education that is focused on harm-reduction instead of purely abstinence” is way more important.
The netizen clarified that they were not hating on Jacelyn, but merely raising awareness about how parents need to have more realistic discussions around sex with their kids.
The comment, which received 146 likes, also received a reply from Jacelyn, who shared that she also talked to her son about other aspects of sexual education, and that she’s taking things slow as he’s only 10 this year.
Photos: Jacelyn Tay/Instagram
