'Every failure shaped me': CNA938’s Cheryl Goh on five years of IVF and finally becoming a mum at 40

I was 17 weeks pregnant when I turned 40 in March. It was a double celebration – hitting the 4-0 milestone, and also emerging out of the precarious first trimester, which was fraught with caution and uncertainty.

As a couple who has dealt with infertility for years, my husband and I had never gotten this far in our trying-to-conceive (TTC) journey.

On some days, it still felt surreal. Even as the weeks progressed, there was a lingering fear that we could lose our child at any point. But the morning sickness, or in my case, the all-day nausea, was a strangely reassuring sign that yes, I am pregnant.

Two weeks later, the husband and I were given the go-ahead by our doctor – that the pregnancy was relatively stable enough to be announced to our wider community.

Up until then, only family and very close friends knew that our fifth in vitro fertilisation (IVF) transfer in November 2024 had worked. Finally, a success since we started IVF treatments back in 2021.

I shared our joy in an Instagram post – a black-and-white picture showing the ultrasound of our baby girl, the outline of her little head and body distinct as she lay in my womb. Hearing her heartbeat and seeing her starting to take shape was a very precious feeling.

I have a humble following of 1,600 on Instagram, but I didn’t expect the post to blow up – over a thousand likes and 300 comments. The outpouring of love and support was a surprise, and very touching.

By sharing my struggles with IVF and fertility on my socials, I was hoping, in my own small way, to help normalise such conversations, so other women going through something similar would feel less alone, but I did not realise so many people had been quietly rooting for us.

MUSINGS ON MOTHERHOOD

This got me thinking – why are motherhood and parenthood celebrated? Why is the desire to have children seen as noble? Don’t get me wrong – as someone who has struggled with infertility for years, I am fully aware of just how precious this gift is.

If I’m being totally honest, I am relatively content with my life otherwise. And even as we tried for a child, I didn’t feel a void or think that my lack of the motherhood experience meant I was missing out on life – even while watching friends my age go through the journey. At 40, I have friends whose children are already preparing for the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE).

I worked hard to get to where I am today: My career in news began with my time as a rookie TV journalist before I transitioned to become a radio presenter and producer.

Now, I proudly helm my own radio show – the midday belt from 10am-2pm on CNA938, even kickstarting a brand-new segment, The Wellness Hour.

I have a happy stable marriage of 10 years with a supportive and loving husband, and our humble flat was made a home with our two adorable furbabies, Kumo and Sunny – Sunny was adopted shortly after my first major surgery in June 2019 to remove 21 fibroids.  

I would go on to have two more surgeries in April 2023 to clip my left fallopian tube, and in July 2024 to remove both fallopian tubes entirely – all in the name of increasing my chances of IVF success.

But all in all, we were already a happy family of four. I found great joy in being a pawrent.

I have a close-knit circle of treasured friends, and time to pursue my interests, such as yoga, even obtaining my 200-hour teaching certificate in 2021.  

All this happened while we were trying to conceive, because I chose not to put the rest of my life on hold.

I often ask myself, if I had become a mother when I first started TTC at the age of 34, would I have been ready?

Going through the past five years of fertility struggles has shaped me as a person, allowing me to achieve other things at work and in my personal life that I wouldn’t have, if I had already been a mother at that time.

The IVF failures in particular, while difficult, also added to my strength and resolve as I continued this process.  

Now at 40, and after having gone through all that I have, I feel I’m in a much better mental and emotional headspace to welcome a child into my life.  

HER IVF STRUGGLES – AND PAIN

I won’t deny it – there were times during the IVF process when I felt angry, even resentful. Why am I putting myself through all this, and to what end? The countless doctors’ appointments plus the seemingly endless waiting that comes with each visit, the injections, the bloating, the weight gain, the painful surgeries and the difficult recoveries.

I also remember my husband and I getting into a big argument. I had put off some IVF treatments to go on a short trip with some colleagues from work.

It was rare that we could get vacation leave at the same time, so I decided to make that my priority. He was unhappy about this choice I made, but didn’t voice it till sometime after I came back from the trip.

We’ve since reconciled, of course, but at the time, I did feel judged for ‘not trying hard enough’, for not manifesting my desire to be a mother hard enough.

The truth is, we didn’t have the strength and willingness to try every day. Every setback, every failure, ate into me, quietly chipping away at whatever resolve I had left.

Having an endpoint helped me. I told my husband that my second egg retrieval would be my last, because that to me was the hardest part of the IVF process.

Up till that point, we had one prior egg retrieval in 2021 and four failed embryo transfers.

For those who may not be familiar, IVF consists of two main parts. First, stimulation and egg retrieval – where hormonal medication is used to encourage multiple eggs to mature, instead of just the one which occurs naturally every month.

The eggs are then collected – egg retrieval – and fertilised in a laboratory with the man’s sperm, which then grow into embryos.

Then comes the second part, where the embryo is transferred into the uterus to hopefully implant and result in a pregnancy. Failure can occur at any part of the process, from the egg retrieval (no viable eggs), fertilisation (no resulting embryos) and implantation (no pregnancy).

So for me, regardless of the outcome of this second egg retrieval, of how many viable embryos we’d get, I would stop there. That helped me make peace and let go. 

Along the way, I discovered Fertility Support Singapore (FSS) – a community of IVF warriors who have come together to support women throughout this daunting IVF journey. I attended several of their events and got to know many women also going through IVF.

The support and empathy and open sharing sessions helped me get through the hardest times and made me realise that I wasn’t alone in this journey.

HOW INFERTILITY HAS SHAPED MY MUM-TO-BE EXPERIENCE

Motherhood is precious to all women. Infertility has made me appreciate motherhood more.

My pregnancy had its own share of issues. At age 40, my doctor deemed it a ‘geriatric high-risk’ pregnancy from day one.

I had a bleeding scare in the first trimester, and in the third, I had pregnancy-related high blood pressure which had to be managed with medication, as well as pain in both wrists, which meant I had to stop my beloved prenatal yoga classes.

When my husband and I went on a three-week babymoon to Japan during my second trimester, I also had to deal with swollen feet and a lack of stamina that meant we were often back in our hotel room by 8pm.

Gone were the days of late-night jaunts to the nearby izakaya, or bar. I of course avoided alcohol and my favourite raw fish dishes like sashimi, but feeling the baby’s kicks reminded me these little sacrifices were temporary and well worth it. 

I started my maternity leave on Jul 21, 2025.  My last day on-air, on Jul 18, 2025, was rather bittersweet as I told my listeners I’d be away on a six-month maternity break.

I was excited to embrace this next stage of my life as a new mum to my baby girl, but at the same time, it also felt like I was saying farewell to my current self – a somewhat carefree working professional with no human parental responsibilities. It was a reminder of how much my life was about to change.

NAVIGATING THE FOURTH TRIMESTER

I also tried to prepare myself for the so-called ‘fourth trimester’ – the first three months after the baby is born – which many mothers openly say is one of the hardest times in their life.

With it came a whole other set of anxieties. Will my Caesarean section wound heal well? Will I be able to breastfeed? How will I survive on little sleep? How will my furbabies react to their human sister? How much poo will I be cleaning up every day? Will my baby have jaundice or colic?

As we don’t intend to rely on much external help – our parents are getting on in age – will my husband burn out as both the baby’s and my primary caregiver? The first-time parent jitters are very real. 

Call it sheer bravado or perhaps just utter foolishness, but my husband and I decided to go without a confinement nanny. He is determined he’ll make a good confinement ‘manny’ – I’m just hoping we won’t drive each other mad. -

I’ve also been thinking about the type of mother I want to be – your typical Asian tiger mum? Do I lean into ‘gentle parenting’? The chill and cool mum? Can I perhaps be an ideal mix of them all?

I don’t have the answers yet. But I do hope I’ll be able to embrace motherhood with the same tenacity and strength I mustered during my IVF journey. Even when parenting gets tough – and I know it will – to always remember what it took to get here, to be able to hold and love this precious child.

Cheryl Goh is a senior producer/presenter for CNA938. She hosts the midday show from 10am-2pm – Mind Your Money, Eat Drink Singapore and The Wellness Hour. Her baby girl, Celeste, was born on Jul 31, 2025.